Growing up in a slum and extricating oneself from its bleak prospect to build a meaningful life for oneself when romanticized makes for a great motivational story, except for people like Ms. Bernadette Ojao who lived the experience in real time.
Now a mother of 1 and expecting, Bernadette’s options could not have been more limited or bleaker: a first child- a girl- born in a humble family of 5 where life on a daily basis was a struggle that was promptly handed down to her by virtue of her gender and position of birth.
Rather than become a desperate statistic, Bernadette defied the odds to become many things; a God-fearing woman who loves people, a teacher, missioner and community ambassador. In person, she comes across as a bubbly, confident and optimistic young woman with an indefatigable spirit. In truth, she is all of those things.
Yet Bernadette was never always that way. Her circumstances that were her living reality were neither easy nor pleasant for a first born daughter, living in the slums of Kamwokya and without having the kind of education she so badly wanted to have.
Very often she found herself confused, utterly overwhelmed, powerless and just not able to cope.
“I would just cry. I remember when I could not afford the tuition fees to continue with my education, I would curse and say, ‘Now I wish my father had taken me to school, maybe I would also have been better. I wish we were rich, I would not be going through this as a first born daughter -having to be the one to take care of my family; to look for what to do for them; I wouldn’t be the one to support them; why is it that it is always me who is always spending to see that my family is good; why am I the only one trying? Why are my brothers not getting to help me?”
Like things were not bad enough already, some of Bernadette’s life choices complicated her situation further. She had her first child at 23. While she was not too young to have a child, and having one eventually turned out to be Bernadette’s highest point of her life, it did add to an already overbearing weight on her shoulder.
Her situation left her with no choice but to pray. Having absolutely no one and nothing else to turn to, she often found herself relying solely on God.
“All those things just became too much for me and in that state where I did not know what to do I always cried out to God saying, ‘Please help me, it’s too much for me. Help me do something, what can I do? What can I do to make things better, Lord? Okay, I can’t do much please help me you know you’re my helper. Please give me wisdom and understanding to be a better person to change the situations around me’”
Meanwhile, her new born son was fast tracking her quick and steady emotional, intellectual and creative growth from an often unsure young girl, to a bold and self-confident young woman, ready to take on life both strategically and head on. She dared to desire more and better for herself.Almost like a directly answered prayer, Pads for Her happened.
Pads For Her UG is Bernadette’s social entrepreneurial venture that makes reusable sanitary pads targeted at young women and girls who cannot afford ordinary sanitary pads.
It all started with a sewing machine that a friend had given to her and for a long time, it was in her possession even though she did not know what to use it for. She was convicted when her fiancé told her that her friend would one day come and find that she was not using that machine. She felt challenged and wondered how she could be suffering to look for money to take care of herself and her siblings when she had a sewing machine.
Again, she was back to God and crying out for what to do because just would not figure out what to use the machine for. She tried out many things that simply never worked out. Finally she prayed, “God please give me the wisdom; what can I do?” and that is when the idea of making reusable sanitary pads was born. Bernadette taught herself the skill of making reusable sanitary pads off of watching YouTube videos and part of what Pads for Her does is to skill other young women in making them.
Bernadette is long past her days of utter desperation and she seems to have cracked the code of life, “You will make it, no matter what, if you trust God and really believe in Him, have a heart which wants to work and mind that knows where you’re coming from and where you want to go.”
While her responsibility to her siblings still stand, her outlook on her life and circumstances, how she approaches them have completely changed and she credits her past for it.
“My past has taught me and made me appreciate what I am today. Unlike in the past, today I can reason and try to make things better as a woman. I no longer cry about the university education I never had, or the home my parents never had and the better life I wish I had lived. I can honestly say that I have seen God step into my situation and raise me into the mature woman I am today. I am motivated daily and I reason that if there are certain things I could not have growing up, I can myself give it to someone else plus whatever I have learnt as well.”
This is the spirit behind the trainings we offer as Pads for her to train people on how to make reusable sanitary pads.
At this point, it is not hard to comprehend why for Bernadette, her turning point was when she came to the realization that she had always loved God from the day she was born understanding that she could rely on Him and He has been faithful; believing that she cannot be anything without the helping hand of God.
PS: The above story was first published in the inaugural Zabuli Magazine at last year’s Girl Get Up event in March 2020
