Making yoghurt is shockingly easy! Why have you not made some for yourself yet?

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Remember the time when making cakes was suddenly all the business rage? Well, yoghurt is entering that realm as well. The reason? That stuff is so easy to make you will cry when you find out how so.

Basically if you know how to boil milk and to add tea leaves in it, then you are ready to make yoghurt; and I’m talking yoghurt that is as good if not better than the rough, non-creamy, overpriced and mass-produced stuff you’re currently taking.

So, here goes.

1. Light a fire. Whichever heat source you use. This stuff favors everyone, right from firewood to volcanic lava, to the chants of Holy Spirit, Fire! from a mulokole.

2. Get two saucepans. Make sure one can sit in the other. Like, spooning but for saucepans. Obviously if you’re single, you cannot relate.

3. Put the large sauce pan over the fire and pour some water in it. Next, pour milk in the smaller saucepan. Carry the small saucepan with the milk and place it in the big saucepan with water.

4. The idea is to heat the milk without doing so on direct heat. So the fire heats the water in the large saucepan and the water in the large saucepan heats the milk in the small saucepan.

The next part is where your relationship with your ancestors is very important. For example, when did you last go to your village to attend a last funeral rites ceremony? You do not remember? So who do you think will tell you that “Okay, that’s enough, the milk is hot enough and all the germs have died. You can now turn off the heat?”

Well, if you do not have that kind of relationship with your ancestors, it is still okay. You can just buy a thermometer from where I will tell you about at the end of this post.

5. Keep stirring the milk to avoid cream coagulating at the top of the milk to form that layer which you have to peel off.

6. Heat the milk to 87 degrees Celsius.  Use the thermometer to measure this, by dipping it in the milk. When it reaches this temperature, continue heating for 15 minutes. Congratulations, you have just done what in science is called Pasteurization. This has killed all the germs that there were in the milk and your milk (plus its resulting yoghurt) is now safe to drink. If you relate well with your ancestors, (for example if you’re the type of person who pours the first or last bits of your water or alcohol on the ground for the gods), you will be able to feel it in your spirit that the milk has heated to 87 degrees Celsius. This is usually about the time that the water in the large saucepan is boiling. When the water in the large saucepan has boiled for a while, you can count 15 minutes from your phone or other time telling device. Note: The milk itself will not boil like it does when you heat it over direct fire. The furthest it will reach is a light layer of foam. Find rest in your spirit. Calm your doubts. This is okay. The worst bacteria will not survive temperatures of over 87 degrees Celsius and moreover when it is sustained for 15 minutes.

7. Now take the milk off the fire. Pour away the hot water from the large saucepan and replace it with cold water. Place the milk back into the large saucepan and start to cool it by stirring. Just a few moments later, (or if your have a thermometer, when it has reached 60 degrees Celsius) add sugar and flavor. Now I hear you asking: How much sugar? How much flavor? What flavor? Where do I get it from? I will answer you.

(a) How much sugar? I have found quarter cup for three liters of milk to be perfect. Not too sweet. You can change your preference in subsequent makings. Or you can just taste the damn thing and keep adding till you feel like, yeah, that’s it.

(b) The flavor? That stuff cheap as hell. Go to the supermarket, where they sell things for making cake. Flour, baking powder, icing sugar and what not. It’s a small bottle, identical to the one they use to sell glycerin (costs 3,500/- to 4,000/- thereabouts and no more) You can find either vanilla (yellowish in colour) or strawberry (deep pink color in the bottle). There is also a dark-colored vanilla but why would you pick that one for someone who has never bought vanilla in their life? On second thought, buy that dark one and tell us how it goes.

(c) How much flavor? Very little, actually. I find that for 3 liters of milk, adding two teaspoonfuls of the flavor will be enough. Or measure using the lids of the flavor bottles; again two lids full. The lids are really tiny, if you buy brands that pack in the identical bottles that I used. For strawberry, its the same or until the color is just pink enough.

8. Continue to stir and cool the milk to 45 degrees Celsius. Now, do not panic. Again, your ancestors and myself are here to help you know when it is 45 degrees Celsius. You know how when you have a cup of tea and it is too hot so you wait for it to cool down a bit? And then you also know how when it goes beneath a certain level of hotness you can’t stand the stuff in your mouth? Between those two points is the it- when it is not too warm to make you want to spit it out and when it is not too hot for you to take. Now some of you are wizards and witches- unless the tea burns the roof of your mouth and the skin of your palate peels off, it is not hot enough. Others, unless it is as warm as breast milk, you will not take it. (Meanwhile I’m wondering how you know the warmth of breastmilk. Me, I know it from cows, I don’t know about you, though). So yeah, if you’re one of those kinds of people and you absolutely do not trust your instinct to measure the temperature of the milk, then you absolutely must buy a thermometer.

9. Add culture. Calm down. At this stage, you only need to know what culture is and what it does, not where you can get it from. I have taken care of this as well and will put it at the end of this write-up. Culture is what turns milk into yoghurt. That’s all. It comes in sachets of varying quantities and it is a half-powder/half-crystalline white-to-cream colored substance. The real question is, how much culture do you put?

Answer: Follow manufactures’ instruction, or do not, as I am about to explain to you. So, for the types of culture I have used, it’s basically 1gram per liter. And now I hear you asking, how do I measure 1gram? Well, some cultures come pre-packed in 1g sachets. So you do not need to measure. Just tear the sachet open and pour the whole thing inside. Others come in 10g packs. (9.8grams, actually but who says 9.8grams at all? We shall say 10grams for convenience). So these are the types of cultures where you will need to make some measurements. If you have a scale, by all means measure out 1gram. If you do not, however, we will use a teaspoon (a small spoon). Here is the mathematics. So, a teaspoon contains about 4grams. This means that a small spoon of culture is enough to make up to 20 liters of yoghurt. But you are obviously not going to make 20 liters of yoghurt your first time, and right after reading this. I’m thinking you’ll make like 5 liters max. So, that teaspoon will be more than enough, and half a teaspoon is perfect for up to 5 liters of milk. So if you have one or two liters of milk, half a teaspoon is more than enough. If you have three to five liters of milk, a teaspoonful is more than enough. Note: there is no such thing as putting too much culture, or “overdosing”, no. The science of the culture is that the microorganisms will multiply as they digest the milk and will continue to multiply for as long as there is still more milk available to digest. Once all the milk is digested, they simply stop growing. So, it is simply wastage of resources when you look at it in business terms, more than it is “overdosing” or putting “too much” culture. Obviously too little culture for so much milk will overwhelm the microorganisms. The milk will cool before they have multiplied fast enough to digest all the milk.

But at this level, this is the least of your worries. You could not simply mess up with 5 liters of milk or less.

10. And that’s it. You’re done with the hard part- if it can be considered hard at all.

11. The next part is to transfer the milk to a clean, dry container, which can be covered properly with a lid, for the culture to start doing its work of digesting the milk. Think of a bucket, jerrycan, etc. Me, I used a pressure cooker. I found it very convenient using it to heat the milk and also to cover it after the whole process.

12. Once the milk is well covered in its container, wrap the container up in a blanket or any other thick item of fabric that can conserve its warmth.

13. Store it away in a corner somewhere and wait 8 to 12 hours, during which time the milk shall transform into yoghurt. So in practice that means, if you want the yoghurt ready in the morning, make it during the evening. For example, if you prepare the milk by 6pm, it will be ready by 6am the next morning. If 7pm, it will be ready by 7am the next morning.

14. So you have waited the 12 hours. Let us assume you made it last evening and it is now morning. You probably have been waiting impatiently and could not sleep the whole night, the way it used to be when the next day was Christmas and you couldn’t wait to wear your new clothes. I hope you will be better than me. I was too excited I picked the stuff out before they were ready, thinking it may have got ready by some miracle or something. I was sure I would put it back it it was not ready and it would continue to completion. That did not happen and I was so sad!

Anyway, so when you take your bucket or jerrycan or pressure cooker out of its corner and open it, you will make a shrill cry of pleasure as the glorious smell of vanilla or strawberry yoghurt hits you. Let this moment consume you. See what you made!You did that!  Look at the yellow, creamy layer on top. See watery liquid temporarily separated from the thick protein of the milk. See how it beckons you to so this one last thing!

Now, quick! Get a mingling stick or ladle. I prefer that you use a wooden stirring utensil for this purpose. Stir and mixing your newly made yoghurt to put its parts back together. Work through its thickness and feel how gently it allows you to move through it. So just keep going, keep stirring until you have a smooth, even yoghurt right infront of you. What you are doing has a scientific name. It is called homogenization; putting all the parts of this glorious thing that you just made, together, to result into your perfected goal: Your own, delicious, home-made yoghurt!

15. Now put your yoghurt in whichever container you have that can fit into the refrigerator. Allow it to cool. Serve cold. I bet you will never not make your own yoghurt again.

In summary, what you need for the start:

  1. A heat source.
  2. Two saucepans; one large and one small. The small saucepan should comfortably fit into the large one.
  3. A mingling stick or wooden ladle for stirring.
  4. A mercury thermometer. (You can get this from any shop selling school laboratory chemicals or instruments. They are not as hard to find as you might imagine. Ask around and you will find them! They should not cost more than 10,000Ugx. In Gulu, at the shop that sells students’ laboratory chemicals and equipment, along the street where Mega FM is, it costs only 8,000Ugx.
  5. Not more than 5 liters of milk
  6. Sugar. (half a cup for 5 liters of milk and quarter cup for 2 liters of milk) Work within these ranges for the quantity of milk you have. But like I said, you just taste the milk and keep it at how you like it.
  7. Flavor (vanilla and strawberry are very easy to find). You can find them at any supermarket. With experience, you can seek out other flavors like mango, and lemon.
  8. Starter culture. You just need a contact. This guy here sells them. Call him. (0782335088). He is based in Kampala and if you live outside of Kampala, say up country, it can be delivered to you by bus (or whichever means are available for your situation) The culture itself costs about 35,000Ugx for a 9.8g pack that makes 50 liters of yoghurt. Now you will have to pay the extra cost for transporting it from his business to where your courier offices or park is and the cost of delivery by the courier company. For Gulu for example, the total cost is 44,000Ugx, that is, 35000Ugx for the culture, 4000Ugx to get him from his business location to the Namayiba bus terminal and 5000Ugx for the bus company to deliver it to Gulu. So, you get the gist. You can now have an estimated cost for your own location. Now, of course price changes do happen. Be flexible accordingly if it is not as exact as I have described it here. You will use this culture multiple times. Please note that this is the type of culture that has to be stored in a fridge.
  9. There is another company that sells starter culture but I will update this article when I have got the proper contacts for them. Theirs is packed in 1 packs and can be stored at room temperature.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Now go in peace, and make some yoghurt!

Regards,

Anna

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